Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Missing the message
It's important when arguing for or against something that you get your points across. Not half the point, the whole point.
Let me start this post with some clarifications.
My vision of a fraternity or sorority cocktail is as follows:
A group of dates dress up, go to a nice restaurant for a classy meal and then head to a central location where they meet up with the other members of said (fratern/soror)ity and dates for an evening of socializing.
As a fraternity member, when hosting a cocktail, I do my best to ensure that my vision comes to fruition. And barring a few exceptions, it usually does.
I am a supporter of gender equality.
I believe in equal pay for men and women, I'm a supporter of women being the major breadwinner of her family (even openly suggesting a future profession of 'house-husband' for myself), and I believe that women should hold the door for men just as men should for women.
Because of Clarifications 1 and 2, I often argue that when attending a fraternity cocktail, the man should pay for the nice dinner and when attending a sorority cocktail, the woman should do the same.
UPDATE: Particularly in this economy.
I've been to 20-25 sorority cocktails in my college career and at all but one of them, the dinner prior to the evening of socializing has been ordering in pizza and drinking cheap beer.
A nice dinner and drinks for two usually costs around $60. Pizza and beer costs around $15.
I'm fine with pizza and beer every once in a while, but it'd be nice if occasionally, the woman decided to treat the man to the same quality meal that she'd expect at a fraternity cocktail.
And now for two quick tales...
Last Friday was a big night for sorority cocktails. At least 20 of my friends attended one but for the sake of this blog post, I'm only going to talk about two of their experiences (and my own of course).
Let's start with me first (since I'm incredibly selfish and this is my blog after all).
Early last week, I got a phone call from a girl who I was to be eating with before the cocktail (not my date).
It went a little something like this...
Non-date Girl: "Hey, you're going to dinner with us on Friday."
Me: "Cool, where are we going?"
Non-date Girl: "I thought we'd just pick up some pizza and eat at X's house. It'll be nice and relaxing."
Me: (You've got to be kidding me) "Sounds great, I'll see you there."
Now my two friends...
(Note: I've lectured both of their girlfriends on the discrepancy in arguing for both equal pay for women and also insisting on pizza and beer.)
Because of the Note above, I was thrilled (and a bit jealous) when I heard that the girlfriends had decided to join three other couples and go to a nice restaurant before the cocktail.
When my two friends (who share my pizza/beer sentiment) got to the restaurant, they decided to treat their girlfriends to a nice drink as an unspoken thanks for the upcoming meal.
After their meal however, when the check arrived, both of my friends' girlfriends had conveniently forgotten their wallets.
I was astounded when I heard the stories from my friends the next morning. I didn't know what to do. Obviously, my (what I thought was flawless) argument against pizza and beer wasn't getting the point across.
And when something isn't working, I believe in changing your approach...
A great man once said, actions speak louder than words.
So for our cocktail tomorrow night, for the sake of women's equality, I'll be hosting the first ever Pizza and Beer Pre-Fraternity Cocktail Dinner.
Anyone in the fraternity is invited and encouraged to come. The more people in attendance, the more we can maximize cost efficiency.
Email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you're interested. When I get a tally of how many people are planning to come, I'll order the pizza and you can all chip in (you'll be on your own for beer though since I don't want to worry about underage drinking, which I do not condone).
Payback will be oh so sweet and oh so cheap...