Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I just bought $25 worth of pudding and apple sauce at CVS.
Shall I explain?
Just kidding, dumb question.
It all started Saturday. I woke up and felt a little under the weather. Not really unusual for me. I'm not really a morning person.
Actually I'm not a morning person at all. In fact, the second I wake up is the worst second of my day.
So waking up and feeling crappy isn't really out of the ordinary. I started to get suspicious however, when a shower with Sexed-Up didn't rouse me out of my funk. I started to get really suspicious when I didn't feel better after a quesadilla and some chips and guac at a restaurant/bar in Athens while watching the Georgia-Auburn game.
As the day went on, the feeling got worse. Saturday night, I definitely had a fever. Chills, sweating, light-headed, sore throat. Not good.
By Sunday, the fever had gone down and by Monday, I felt like a new man...
...except my throat was still killing me.
Every time I swallowed food, it hurt. And each swallow was worse than the one before it.
Naturally, I did nothing and figured I'd be fine when I woke up Tuesday.
Naturally, I was wrong.
Tuesday morning I woke up and had a sip of water. As the water crawled down my throat, I eeked out a painful scream (a high-pitched, girly scream, not a masculine, shot in the arm in a bar fight scream).
I choked down 3 generic brand Tylenol and decided that a nice warm cup of coffee was the antidote to my ailment.
So on the way to class, I stopped by Alpine (a bagel joint on Chapel Hill's campus) and picked up a large coffee. Unfortunately I couldn't drink any of it on the way to class because it was too hot (I'm very sensitive). When I got to my class however, I took a gulp and had to punch myself in the (you know, down there) in order to distract myself from the pain. I then vowed that I would call my step-dad/doctor as soon as class let out and figure out what the hell was going on.
After class, I recounted the above story to my step-dad and he asked a couple questions before telling me what to do. The conversation is kind of fuzzy because most of it was doctor-talk (which I don't speak/understand but he pretends I do) but a few quotes stand out in my sitting memory:
"You ate Wendy's, Arby's and Qdoba with a sore throat? What were you thinking?"
"Wait, you ate Wendy's twice?"
"You thought to drink coffee? That's like pouring battery acid on your throat."
I think two things are clear here.
1. I don't know what to do when I'm sick.
2. Regardless of whether or not I'm sick, I need so change my diet. Soon.
The conversation ended with instructions to get some Prilosec OTC (which I later found out is 'frequent heartburn' medicine) and to only eat 'soft' food.
I then convinced a friend to go with me to CVS in exchange for accompanying him to Wendy's.
We went to Wendy's first and I decided to try my luck with a large Frosty and a large Dr. Pepper ($4). I immediately regretted the purchase after my first sip of Frosty hung on my throat like a girl on whatever guy is standing next to me on any given night.
At CVS, frustrated and starving (I'd eaten a burrito and four chicken nuggets in the last 36 hours), I picked up some Prilosec OTC ($10) and $25 worth of apple sauce and pudding ($25).
A lot of people wake up each morning with a full day planned. Sometimes though, unexpected things happen and you have to change accordingly; you have to make do with what you've got.
And right now, all my friends are downstairs eating chicken and broccoli on rice with breadsticks and drinking sweet tea...
But hey, I've got tons of apple sauce to eat...
...and a melted Frosty to drink.