Sunday, January 25, 2009


I'm not naive. I know I'm living in a fantasy world.

I live with 40 of my best friends, I have zero responsibilities before 11:00am, and any time I want to ask a girl on a date, I have the perfect excuse...

...a cocktail.

For those of you who don't know, here's a quick definition of a fraternity cocktail:

Main Entry: fra·ter·ni·ty cock·tail
Function: noun
: a social event where friends, sometimes referred to as 'brothers', take dates out to a nice dinner usually followed by dancing and debauchery.

I had one such cocktail last Friday and had such a good time that my evening warranted a second date.

Unfortunately, I've been classically conditioned over the last three years and now have no idea how to ask a girl on a date unless there's a cocktail scheduled for the upcoming week.

Realizing that there's no 'cocktail excuse' in the real world, I decided it was time to get some practice...

After two hours of deliberation, a half-hour of Facebook, and 15 minutes of crying, I panicked and sent the following text message to my potential date:

"I had a really good time at the cocktail and I want to ask you to come to another cocktail this Friday. Unfortunately we don't have a cocktail on Friday. What do I do?"

At the time of publication, she has yet to respond.

And if you remember correctly, this scenario isn't exactly my cup of tea.

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